Stain-Schmain

There is something so beautiful and untouchable about the magic of childhood. Little eyes discovering things for the first time – and those things take on a life of their own at the hand of their imagination. Being Jordyn’s mom, this is one aspect of her life I’m the most excited for and it’s already begun.

We have a giant flower pot in our backyard filled to the top with loose soil. Jordyn discovered it about a week ago when we were outside playing on a warmish Winter day. At first she just kind of traced her fingers through it. Then she discovered the coolness of the dirt and the way it tickled her hands as she ran them through it. She was soon dipping both hands in as far as she could (nearly up to her elbows) and pulling them out. (Much like sticking your hands into a barrel full of uncooked beans at the grocery store). Her eyes were huge with wonder and a slight smile played at her mouth. Then she’d take a handful, walk over to the concrete patio and drop the dirt onto it. The way it sprayed and scattered as it hit the hard surface made her laugh. She’d do these two things over and over again, neither getting old. Pretty soon dirt was everywhere; down her boots, smeared on her face – I even found some in her diaper!

A part of me kept thinking about how I’d get the stains out of her white pants. The other part of me slapped that part and told it to shut up. Let the wild girl be covered head to toe in dirt and wonder! Let her touch, taste (which was inevitable), feel, smell, see and listen! Stain-schmain. This sweet little girl is touching the world. 

She has this head full of wild hair too. Right now, it goes in every direction. There’s no combing it into order, so we just go with it. Sometimes we rock the top-of-the-head pony tail (until she rips it out) and sometimes I can sneak a barrette in while she’s distracted. But it’s that hair. That wild, every-which-way hair that I love.

I find myself as a parent sometimes wanting to bring order to the chaos. Whether it’s keeping her clean while she’s playing in dirt or combing her hair into submission, there’s this thing inside me that wants to make it look nice. But, I’m afraid that the looking nice will stifle the wild and I don’t want that. 

I often wonder how Jesus does it. How he lets us be wild, get dirty and experience the world, but also brings order to the chaos. In His wisdom, He knows what battles are worth fighting, what boundaries are worth laying and then lets us run. Oh to tap into that wisdom! To swim in that river of His knowing! To foster my children’s process of discovery and wonder in such a way that their little hearts grow and flourish and feel safe and confident all at once…

He’s so good at it. And nothing has shown me how much I need Him like motherhood. Especially now that we have a baby boy due in 7 weeks. 7 WEEKS! A BOY! Yikes! But also, hallelujah! 

Life is crazy here in our big world as I’m sure it is in yours, too. But no matter how crazy the crazy gets, the sun still shines, summer is only a few months away and TJ Maxx and Target are just down the street. But more importantly, we have each other. So, lets all be free and let others be free too. Let’s make a mess and call it beautiful, because there’s also no shortage on laundry detergent. Let’s dive into life. Taste it, smell it, feel it, see it and listen to it’s rhythm.

Early Morning Magic

I woke up this morning, threw on Chris’s Red Sox hat and a pair of skinnies and headed to the grocery store for some coffee creamer.

The day is cloudy and you can feel a mist in the air. It reminds me of so many mornings waking up at my childhood home on Fox Island. Out of coffee creamer, I’d do much of the same routine: throw on a hat, some jeans and a pair of shoes and jump in my dad’s jeep to head to the Little Store (which is now a Shell Station).
The green jeep never had a top, hard or soft. It’s pretty much bare bones with a 3-speed manual transmission, two front bucket seats and a bull-dog emblem on the hood. To get it into Reverse, you’d first have to throw it into 1st, then slam it back into Reverse. I love that jeep with all it’s quirks. My dad still has it and has promised to let us “have it” for as long as we’re Stateside. But as soon as we start traveling overseas again, he wants it back :).

Those early, cloudy mornings where I’d drive it the 3 miles to the Little Store for some coffee creamer seem insignificant, but I’ve found them to be some of my favorite memories now. In fact, for not being a “morning person” some of my favorite times have been in the early morning…
Like that morning I was driving back from an internship I was doing at a church in Southern California during college. There were about 5 of us interning together and that morning, they only needed 3. So, I opted to go home. I remember driving down the empty highway with the sun rising on my left side. Dave Matthew’s was playing “Ants Marching” from my CD player and the world felt full of adventure! My plans were wide open and anything was possible.
Then there were those mornings on the Island of Mamitupu off the coast of Panamá. I was there on a mission trip through Adventures in Missions and would set my watch alarm for 5am every morning. Then I’d follow the weaving paths to the West side of the island where there was a concrete wall lining the shore. I’d sit on that wall, write in my journal and watch the waves. I’d stay until the sun was high at my back and I knew I had to get back to meet my team for breakfast.

Those early mornings, where the world was still untouched and new; where the ground was still wet and the possibilities were yet to be discovered; those are some of my favorite memories.

I was thinking about all this on my way to the grocery store this morning. I asked myself the question, “What is it about mornings…?” Then I thought about how God says that His mercies are new every morning and how He makes all things new. And that’s the mystery about the morning; the newness, the feeling that today something new will happen. Whatever happened yesterday remains with yesterday, but today is a new chance. We have the ability to make new choices, to live differently, to shrug off the old. We can go on an adventure or we can simply live free from the past.

Or maybe it’s just simply that the morning sits quietly untouched by a busy society and nature gets to play. Those moments go fast, but they’re worth enjoying. And who knows, they may end up being our favorite memories.