February 24, 2014 § 1 Comment
There is something so beautiful and untouchable about the magic of childhood. Little eyes discovering things for the first time – and those things take on a life of their own at the hand of their imagination. Being Jordyn’s mom, this is one aspect of her life I’m the most excited for and it’s already begun.
We have a giant flower pot in our backyard filled to the top with loose soil. Jordyn discovered it about a week ago when we were outside playing on a warmish Winter day. At first she just kind of traced her fingers through it. Then she discovered the coolness of the dirt and the way it tickled her hands as she ran them through it. She was soon dipping both hands in as far as she could (nearly up to her elbows) and pulling them out. (Much like sticking your hands into a barrel full of uncooked beans at the grocery store). Her eyes were huge with wonder and a slight smile played at her mouth. Then she’d take a handful, walk over to the concrete patio and drop the dirt onto it. The way it sprayed and scattered as it hit the hard surface made her laugh. She’d do these two things over and over again, neither getting old. Pretty soon dirt was everywhere; down her boots, smeared on her face – I even found some in her diaper!
A part of me kept thinking about how I’d get the stains out of her white pants. The other part of me slapped that part and told it to shut up. Let the wild girl be covered head to toe in dirt and wonder! Let her touch, taste (which was inevitable), feel, smell, see and listen! Stain-schmain. This sweet little girl is touching the world.
She has this head full of wild hair too. Right now, it goes in every direction. There’s no combing it into order, so we just go with it. Sometimes we rock the top-of-the-head pony tail (until she rips it out) and sometimes I can sneak a barrette in while she’s distracted. But it’s that hair. That wild, every-which-way hair that I love.
I find myself as a parent sometimes wanting to bring order to the chaos. Whether it’s keeping her clean while she’s playing in dirt or combing her hair into submission, there’s this thing inside me that wants to make it look nice. But, I’m afraid that the looking nice will stifle the wild and I don’t want that.
I often wonder how Jesus does it. How he lets us be wild, get dirty and experience the world, but also brings order to the chaos. In His wisdom, He knows what battles are worth fighting, what boundaries are worth laying and then lets us run. Oh to tap into that wisdom! To swim in that river of His knowing! To foster my children’s process of discovery and wonder in such a way that their little hearts grow and flourish and feel safe and confident all at once…
He’s so good at it. And nothing has shown me how much I need Him like motherhood. Especially now that we have a baby boy due in 7 weeks. 7 WEEKS! A BOY! Yikes! But also, hallelujah!
Life is crazy here in our big world as I’m sure it is in yours, too. But no matter how crazy the crazy gets, the sun still shines, summer is only a few months away and TJ Maxx and Target are just down the street. But more importantly, we have each other. So, lets all be free and let others be free too. Let’s make a mess and call it beautiful, because there’s also no shortage on laundry detergent. Let’s dive into life. Taste it, smell it, feel it, see it and listen to it’s rhythm.